Between worlds...

I think I'm mostly a positive person.  Losing weight and getting fit dominates quite a bit of my thought process lately, and through all of it, I notice my mind often goes to positive thoughts like "I'm feeling so healthy lately/My progress is really starting to show/I'll be able to fit into those pants/shirts/etc... before I know it", rather than "I wish I could eat that/This is going to take forever/I'm a fat tub of shit".

I do most of the grocery shopping for the family, and as I was loading the bags into the trunk a while back, I had a gallon of milk in my hand.  I thought to myself "I've lost this weight."  We go through about 4 gallons a week, and as I put each gallon in the trunk, I thought "I've lost this too!"  I actually snapped a picture of all 4 gallons since I was kind of amazed at how much it looked like all together:

 In fact, this was about 2 weeks ago, and with this week's loss of another 4 lbs, I'm up to 5 gallons lost.

So for the past couple of weeks, my mind has often gone to that image of those gallons of milk along with the thought of "Wow, most of that was fat on your body that you're not carrying around anymore, and you're still going strong!"

However, I find that while my mind most often lives in the world of the positive, every now and then something will send it right to negative land.

I caught an image of myself from an unexpected angle in a full-length mirror the other day.  And I'd just like to say, go fuck yourself full-length mirror.  As a matter of fact, all full-length mirrors - go fuck your collective selves.

Some people talk about an NSV happening when they catch a look of themselves in a mirror, and for a second, they don't recognize the reflection as their own since they look so different after losing so much weight.  Well, that's basically happened with me, but I didn't recognize myself as the still tragically fat guy from that angle in the mirror.

And just to make things extra-fun, I got another look at myself in a different full-length mirror, from an entirely different angle later that same day.  This time I actually recognized it was me, and thought "Ah yes - we look like complete shit from that angle as well."  Quite a kick to the berries.

So for the last few days, this has been the image that's been tattooed on my brain.  However, I've noticed that I'm already starting my journey back to Positiveville.  With golf season (hopefully) right around the corner, I was taking inventory of what shirts I had available to wear.  A bunch of them that didn't come close to fitting last season, and that I didn't think I'd be able to fit into until mid-summer, fit already.  Furthermore, my "goto" XXXL's went into the donation pile because they were comically large when I tried them on.

So, slowly but surely last week's fat guy in the mirror is morphing into this week's trimmer guy who is fitting into clothes that he had no hopes of wearing 3 months ago (at least in my mind's eye).